27.

hello blog,

i know i just re-hashed our neglected relationship, and i'm sad to tell you this, but i have to leave you again. i'll be back one day though, don't worry...

real talk though: i'm going to take a serious break from "social networking" sites and the internet in general. since the internet intruded on my simple, secluded life back in the 90's, it has kind of taken over my life, and not in any positive or productive way. i can say with a decent amount of certainty that it has caused more harm than good in my life. i let it rob me of my time, of which i have a limited amount, and i let it affect my emotions more than a brightly lit box ever should.

the internet has taken a small world and made it even smaller. it serves as an easy reminder of things and people that have no place in my mind. it keeps me from being productive. it doesn't help me keep in touch with friends - at least not in a meaningful way. i see people act and say a lot of things that i find depressing and sickening. this list could easily keep going, but i think you get the picture. in short, it's a waste.

i subscribe to the idea that if you don't like something in your life, you should do what you can to change it, and i've found myself in a place that i don't want to be, and nobody is keeping me here but myself. i lack self control in quite a few areas of my life, and hopefully if i can be stronger about one of them, the others will be close behind. i know that saying goodbye to a few websites doesn't seem like much, but for me it is. i'm a quitter, always have been.

i hope by the time february 12th rolls around (that's a month, but who knows, maybe it will be longer!) i hope to feel a sense of accomplishment. not only because i achieved a goal i set for myself, but because i made better use of my time and my life. i want to build friendships, see the sights, cook delicious food, read books, write letters, watch documentaries, go outside, make things, clear my mind, and so much more.

so yeah, there we go! if you want to get in touch with me then please! ask me to hang out, send me a letter, write me an email, text me, whatever you want. i want to know people past their status updates.

good luck to me!

xoxo

Tara

(hello.talk.goodbye@gmail.com)

26.

work...

(makin' mini snowballs)

(not amazing, but taking baby steps)

for a non-baker like me, making cupcakes start to finish is pretty exciting. slowly, slowly, slowly, i am learning. even though it's a small feat, it still makes me proud of myself. i kinda fucked up mixing/baking the eggnog ones, but i did an okay job frosting the little snowballs on top, which i was nervous to do. since i got side-sloping peaks on the cupcakes, i'm just pretending i made a ski hill on top of each one. working with frosting is harder than it looks!

left: chocolate "snowball" cupcakes filled with cocoa mousse, topped with vanilla frosting and coated in coconut.

right: eggnog cupcakes filled with creamy "eggnog", topped with vanilla frosting and a sprinkle of nutmeg and cinnamon.

25.

(last picture from 2011)

wowee! it's been almost a year since i last updated this bad boy. a lot has happened since then, so i think it's time for another a-z to catch up...

a) tara susan anley

b) a quarter of a century old

c) been living in the great city of chicago for four months now

d) forever mending broken hearts (maybe it's time to give the little guy a rest!)

e) slowly and clumsily learning how to bake (and getting paid for it)

f) in dire need of a dentist. who needs teeth, really?!

g) currently in possession of four bicycles

h) consistently tardy

i) learning emotional self control

j) trying to be better with words

k) currently trying to read "on love" and "the zookeeper's wife" - been trying for three months now

l) painfully nostalgic. still working on that time machine

m) lucky to have friends that will pitch in and buy me a shot of malort for breakfast

n) living without power in my bedroom for four days and counting now...

o) finally a fan of the office

p) making my way through all the seasons of the wonder years. been waiting for this forever!

q) still haven't shipped any of my belongings from san francisco. please shoot me.

r) lucky to have the best mama!

s) can't swim or ice skate

t) terrified of airplanes, but needing needing needing to fly

u) in need of a bailey hunter robinson horse head tattoo

v) in possession of a 1933 chicago worlds fair good luck token

w) commuting about 9 miles a day for work

x) waiting for snow so that sledding can take place

y) constantly overwhelmed by how shitty people are

z) still trying to make the most of things

...

i was reading back over past entries, and i realized that a) it's nice to have reminders of what you and your life used to be like and b) lately i haven't been getting excited about things, or dreaming enough, or putting positive magic out into the universe, and that needs to come back. so i think i'll try and write a little ditty here and there and keep the spirit of online narcissism alive!

for cross reference purposes, here's my new year's resolutions for 2012...

- stay in touch with people who are important to me, and be better about responding to people when they reach out.

- stay calm through anger and hurt, and not let it overwhelm me. “this too shall pass.”

- be impeccable with my word (thank you four agreements)

- hang out with friends more

- change situations that i’m not happy with (if i can) “if you don’t like the life you live, change it now it’s yours”

- try to be the best person i can be, even when others aren’t.

- drink less.

- try new recipes

- be strong

- keep my room tidy

- start keeping track of incoming/outgoing funds

- punctuality

- spend less time on the internet.

- worry about my life, not the lives of others

welcome 2012, let's fucking do this!

xo

22.

this will be a post about vegetables. ramps to be exact.

and what is a ramp you ask? it is a wild onion that looks like a scallion, is available for a short period of time during the spring, and supposedly tastes like a combination of onions and garlic.

(nicely cleaned ramps)

i work at an "organic" grocery store twice a week in the produce department, and i don't take advantage of that fact nearly enough, so when we got these babies in the other day i decided to be adventurous and try something new - i had never heard of them either! i bought some ramps, a lemon, a portobello mushroom, some rigatoni and i saved some withering asparagus from the compost bin for my lunch time treat.

i steamed my asparagus pieces and set them aside. then i put on a pot of water. then i discarded the bottom ends of my ramps, chopped them up to the green leaves and proceeded to saute those puppies in olive oil for a minute or two before adding my portobello pieces. sprinkled on some salt + pepper + chili flakes, squeezed on some of the lemon so my mushrooms would get their cook on and then i waited for the magic to take hold. once the mushrooms started to get tender i threw in the asparagus and grated a little lemon zest in there. when the pasta was el dente i threw that in the mix as well. i chopped up some of the ramp greens, grated a little pecorino romanoin on top, gave my lemon another squeeze and tossed that shit around. when everything was well mixed i scooped it into a bowl, grated some more cheese on top, and then proceeded to chow down. it was funking delicious!!!

(pasta in a bowl)

sorry i don't have any photos to post... my camera is broken and i am a) lazy and b) technologically challenged. this crummy photobooth shot will have to suffice. (and yes, pasta and asparagus did fall onto the floor)

for dessert i had some coconut based vanilla ice cream with pomegranate juice tenderly poured over top. yum!

xoxo

tara

ps. if you would like more information/recipes regarding ramps, click here

21.

hello blog,

as you can see from this picture, i'm not dead! (i just can't think of anything to say lately)

here's what has been happening in my world-bubble lately:

a) excessive mumford and sons sing-a-longs

b) working, working, working

c) failing at productivity because of too much text messaging and smiles

d) not cleaning, ever (need to clean!!!!)

e) lots of friends supposed to be visiting this month. stoked for that! hoping i can find the time for maximum fun!

f) getting tattooed by cris cleen on saturday. not sure what it's gonna be yet, but i know it's going to hurt!

g) gonna try my luck at some mint-chocolate chip ice cream real soon

h) finally ate at le grand dakar in clinton hill. it's no bissap baobob, but the spring rolls were awesome and i would go back to try their okra gumbo (even though i don't like okra)

i) my feet have been very itchy, but i think that phase is almost over. bittersweet on getting them coloured in!

j) i love girls nights! even when they happen at shitty places like papacitos! (never again!)

k) my letter press internship is going great! i always have long days, but it's like a sweet hangout party. beers and jokes and music.

l) i dyed my hair. now i just need it cut!

m) mia bought a super cute shower curtain (non plastic!) for our bathroom. now it doesn't look so drab and downtrodden

n) winter is over! so stoked beyond words!

o) currently reading "every man dies alone" (ulysses is on hold until i finish)

p) became familiar with the antics of lady gaga (who would have thought)

q) realized that there are way too many girls putting their business up on the internet. i think it's kind of sad. less is more sometimes.

r) realized that music videos from the nineties are the best...

the end. xoxo

20.

18.

who wants to listen to me talk for 28 minutes?

if you've never read ulysses before, let me read it to you. it's full of mistakes and weird pauses, coughing, page turning, mispronounced words, laughing, and more.

(ulysses - pgs 1-14)

i was told that it is easier to make it through ulysses if you read it out loud... so that's what i'm going to do. i'm going to read ulysses by james joyce out loud, and i am going to record it, and post it. it's not really anything that anybody will want to listen to, but i am excited to take on and finish a project that will take some dedication. i am excited to become a better reader, and possibly a better public speaker too.

17.

. in recent news...

. today was a good day. i like good days. it involved ruining a lot of bagels at work, hang out sessions, lots of laughs, a trip to the bookstore, better weather (minus the ride home. reminded me of sf, but with more dirt), bluetoothing for the first time, tasty thai food, girl dates, and snail mail. wowee, that's a good day.

. the other day dreams came true... except it's a slightly outdated dream... but i still thoroughly enjoyed it...

... i got into college. suny purchase was pretty much the reason i decided to move to nyc, even though i had no idea if i would get in or not - i did. go me! while i'm not sure if i'm going to enroll (i'm not sure of anything anymore...) it feels nice because i have worked very hard to do well in school the past few years, but i wasn't sure it would make up for my prior mistakes. it did. and that feels good either way. happy! this was probably one of the only times in my whole life that i've cried because i was happy.

. i've decided that i need to be more conscious about what i've eating. mostly because it makes me feel like crap and i want be nice to my body, and also because i've formed a permanent food baby. so time to cut down on giant pots of pasta at midnight. or finishing the food off of everybody's plate. or eating it because it's free and available. fruit over snacks and treats. need to cook more. grains and veggies. gonna make some of those recipes i drool over!

. my wednesdays are spent in a big cold room getting inky, dirty fingers. mostly i organize small pieces of metal, but sometimes they let me make things. this scares me, but also makes me feel inspired, even though i have no idea what i am doing...

... it only took me three days, but i finally finished my little handbill project. it's not great, but i'm excited to learn more about letterpress and design and typography. wee!

. i bought two books today from book thug nation: "every man dies alone" by hans fallada and "ulysses" by james joyce. since it's very hard for me to read books for fun while i'm in school, i really need to take advantage of this free time! i know "ulysses" is not going to be an easy read, but i want to give it a try since it's an important work of modern literature... and you know... i like "modernism". plus it's good to challenge yourself. at the bookstore i received two pieces of advice: a) skip around/you don't have to read it in order and b) read it out loud. and i think i will... not because i think it will make it easier to get through (like i was advised) but because i think it will be good for me to do something that i feel silly doing. i'll keep you updated.

. it was so nice sunday afternoon. while winter can be a real bummer sometimes, spring and spring-like days wouldn't be what they are without it. it was so nice that i decided to walk to work for brunch, with just my hoodie, and i was feeling so nice that i even sang out loud to my ipod. (this is a big deal for me. thankfully there were no people around - phew)

"what's my vote? my vote is for keeping it real. walk around

your town with your headphones on, singing out loud"

. there are not enough hours in the day. i want to make ice cream. make crafts for my friends. sew dresses. read books. watch movies. eat food. laugh. dream. ride my bike. go to a museum. dance.

. speaking of ice cream: root beer ice cream? fail! but that's okay, it's all part of the learning process and i'm excited to try it again - and again, and again, until i get it right. so for the record - to make cola ice cream you cannot just add cola. i am going to find a home brew store with root beer extract, which i am not really into because it's most definitely full of crap, but if it works then i am going to try and make my own, which will be rad. and an adventure! i also want to make a boston cream donut ice cream (ripping off ben and jerry's). but avocado and coffee are next on the list.

. i have a tattoo appointment for march 5th. not quite sure what i'm getting, but i know it will be rad. i like how i was so excited to move to nyc so i could get tattooed by rad people, but since i've been here i've only been tattooed by cris cleen, who tattooed me in sf a whole big bunch. nyc pricing = sadness.

. blah blah blah. the end.

16.

"Anyway, I keep picturing all these little kids playing

some game in this big field of rye and all. Thousands

of little kids, and nobody's around - nobody big, I

mean - except me. And I'm standing on the edge of

some crazy cliff. What I have to do, I have to catch

everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean

if they're running and they don't look where they're

going I have to come out from somewhere and catch

them. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher

in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the

only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy."

15.

a) more snow storms for nyc - besides not being able to ride my bike so well, enjoying myself much more this time around - thanks to warm boots and cute knitted hats! (two things i hate wearing!)

b) letterpress owned my life this week. i'm more than happy to sort type for hours - but ask me to "design" something and print it and i might just die. i don't know anything about typography, or lines, or negative space, or life...

these are some proofs that i pulled today... trying to find mistakes, problem solve, and also figure out what the hell i am doing. it all sort of makes me feel like a big turd, but maybe by the time the snow melts i will have my head all wrapped around it. and who knows, maybe when i go back to school i'll take a graphic design course - might be fun/helpful?!

c) tonight i ate more ramen. from minca. hold the bean sprouts = eating the whole bowl = happiness. whole bowl of noodles + pint of beer = dead and exploding insides. going to manhattan bums me out... let's just stay in brooklyn, k?

d) had the cafe au lait donut today from dough. going to eat another one tomorrow. cow :)

e) for the first time in my life i feel like i'm in some bad 20-something rom-com. it's interesting enough, but all i really want to do is ride bikes, drink a beer, sing along real loud, and go on a date to spot dessert bar. is that too much to ask? (no douchbags or lame shoes, please)

f) ten songs for the end of january 2011:

charles manson - look at your game, girl

the thermals - brace and break

port o'brien - tree bones

the national - racing like a pro

coco rosie - candy land

pretty girls make graves - this is our emergency

neutral milk hotel - two-headed boy

saves the day - jodie

cursive - some red handed slight of hand

at the drive in - pattern against user

g) ice cream pt 5: rootbeer!

14.

hola,

recently i had a day off after a long week (horray). while i didn't get any laundry done (oops, funk!) i did manage to cross a few things off my to-do list. ie: i finally made some pennant-garland (?) for the house. once i find some nails i think i will hang it over my 1920s panoramic that is laying on the floor of my bedroom.

i also bought some black thread, which enabled me to start on my "re-style" projects. i wish i had more of an idea of how to sew (etc) properly, but i am still excited because i think at least one dress will turn out cute. hopefully i will finish one soon! yay!

(not the churro)

i bought not one, but two! pastries from "dough" - a chai-cream filled donut and a churro. the churro i had to buy out of necessity... D and i had a (failed) mission to seek out and eat all the world's churros and decide which was the best. well, we only ate about five, and disneyland is leading the pack by a landslide... even after my "dough" churro. alas, who would have thought! the chai filled donut what meh - i think i'll stick to jelly filled or ye old faithful (plain glazed). but seriously, if you're ever in clinton hill (why would you be?!) get yourself a donut from "dough" on the corner of lafayette and franklin. they close at four, so i hope you get up earlier than i do!

i also made dinner last night... roasted the rest of the squash with broccoli and green beans & served it with pasta. i was so disappointed. let's not talk about it...

let's talk about ice cream instead:

today i made dreams a reality when i put my cream cheese/kiwi mixture into the ice cream maker and voila, cream cheese/kiwi ice cream came out! most people think that is a weird combination, but i think you'd be surprised. i'm also a freak, btw. i was really worried when i was cookin' this puppy up last night... didn't know how well the coconut and tofutti c.c. would mesh, or if you would even be able to taste the cream cheese, and it was lumpy as hell, but i am glad to announce that everything has worked out! now i can't stop eating it, eep! i want to start making my friends their favourite flavours (coffee, mint chip, pb&chocolate) but i also really want to make rootbeer, avocado, and other exciting flavours! we'll see what the future holds!

i also want to make peanut butter swirl sugar cookies with a jelly dollop! ... must find baking pan that fits in the oven!

until next time, i'll leave you with a nifty band from the bronx (80s) that my coworker showed me tonight....

13.

"Oh... well, about Life being a game and all. And
how you should play it according to the rules. He was
pretty nice about it. I mean he didn't hit the ceiling or
anything. He just kept talking about Life being a game
and all. You know."
"Life is a game, boy. Life is a game that one plays
according to the rules."
"Yes, sir. I know it is. I know it."
Game, my ass. Some game. If you get on the side
where all the hot-shots are, then it's a game, all right -
I'll admit that. But if you get on the other side, where
there aren't any hot-shots, then what's a game about it?
Nothing. No game.



... i only play board games.

12.

ready for a long drive...

let's go?

11.

food: sewing: hickey:

phew! glad the weekend is over... it was pretty disappointing. maybe my deodorant attracts assholes? maybe it's just new york... anyway, here's to better days!

(roasted cauliflower w/ coconut-y black beans & brown rice)

(short stories by roahl dahl - if you haven't read his "adult" work, please do! it's amazing!)

(roasted + mashed cauliflower & butternut squash w/ sauteed

leeks & garlic + tofu cream cheese)

( = tasty pasta dinner!)

(i hope i wasn't wrong when i thought it had potential... we shall see!)

this week i'm going to sew, re-read "the catcher in the rye", make mix cd's for my friends, make a crazy ice cream flavour, make something new in the kitchen, and more!

xo tara

(life is cheap but' livin is expensive)

"weekend in a mix"

hickey - el farolito

the gossip - got body if you want it

bruce springsteen - i'm on fire

black flag - wasted

blood for blood - livin' in exile

hole - rock star

notwist - one with the freaks

the unicorns - i was born (a unicorn)

tsunami bomb - say it if you mean it

tiger army - WTF

10.

keeping the mix theme alive...

it's been far too long since anybody has made me a thoughtful little mix. i received this in 2005...

"mix to say so long"

death cab - photobooth

built to spill - car

decemberists - here i dreamt i was an architect

belle and sebastian - like dylan in the movies

microphones - karl blau

elliot smith - alameda

get up kids - shorty

promise ring - red and blue jeans

appleseed cast - santa maria

notwist - one with the freaks

jets to brazil - chinatown

corrina repp - finally

minus the bear -

q and not u - line in the sand

black eyes - deformative

death from above - romantic rights

pg99 - sonnet to both ugly and murderous

jr ewing - a case of evacuation

das oath - awesome rape

hot cross - better a corpse than a nun

nation of ulysses - met the girl i'm gonna marry

les savy fav - i.c.timer

liars - they don't want your corn they want your kids

gang of four - damaged goods

the jam - slow down

constantines -

if my future holds mixtapes, butterflies, and smiles, i won't be disappointed.

9.

alright, so i've been on this mix making kick lately... i want to make a mix for every person, every place, every year, etc. tonight, despite my hatred for los angeles, i made one with it in mind. it's made almost entirely of bands from california (mostly southern), except for a few, which are at least from movies that take place in la.

if i went to la...

red hot chili peppers - under the bridge

black flag - wasted

tsol - i'm tired of life

descendents - silly girl

aerosmith - crazy

pennywise - stand by me

blatz - california

di - richard hung himself

rancid - i wanna riot

tiger army - never die

youth brigade - sink with california

the plimsouls - a million miles away (valleygirl)

modern english - i melt with you (valleygirl)

go west - king of wishful thinking (pretty woman)

the vandals - urban struggle

the aquabats - super rad

dead kennedys - winnebago warrior

the nerve agents - carpe diem

the muffs - kids in america (clueless)

no doubt - sunday morning

operation ivy - room without a window

pawns - united we fall

sharp knife - where we you (when i ripped that flag off your fucking car, cochise)

strung out - mind of my own

mephiskapheles - doomsday

so, if anyone wants to drive me to disneyland, just let me know. i'm down.

8.

here we are, another "snow day" in nyc:

i have an interview tonight for a letterpress internship, and although what i really need is a third job, i'm pretty excited. fingers crossed! i also have butterscotch liquid being made into ice cream as we speak. i hope it's delicious! an ice cream cart can't survive with bad ice cream!

(ice cream looks a lot more exciting when it's in a cute little container, not as a mess on my countertop)

a few weeks ago i posted a picture of a dress i wanted to alter... now you can see the (almost) finished product, though unfortunately the dress itself won't see the outside of my apartment until spring. ho hum.

(dress from my point of view)

(dress from your point of view)

i (thankfully) didn't have to do too much: removed the pockets & bows, took in the armholes/shoulders, took in the side seems, and brought up the hem. didn't even have to touch the darts - horray! ps. there are buttons all down the back. love.

(spicy veggie ramen from Minca, nyc)

everyone gives me the stinkeye when i say this, but sorry folks, i have not been overly impressed by the food i've eaten in new york thus far. that said, there are two edible items which i quite adore and have only enjoyed here... $3 falafel and ramen. and to all the kids who poo-poo my expensive ramen enjoyment (vs the dollar kind), you are missing out. the extra 9 or 10 bucks is really worth it for those deliciously chewy noodles and savory broth that isn't made from a powder.

manhattan: minca - 536 E 5th st. near avenue b. (near tompkins square park)

brooklyn: zuzu ramen - 173 4th ave. at degraw (park slope)

that's it for now.

xoxo

7.

i made a mix for a person that's never going to hear it. i wanted to at least put the playlist out into the world...

westside connection - the gangsta, the killa, and the dope dealer

all girl summer fun band - mr. & mrs. troublemaker

animal collective - the purple bottle

the anniversary - ain't that bad

bell orchestre - les lumieres, pt. 2

built to spill - car

the murder city devils - every shitty thing

cap'n jazz - little league

the misfits - hybrid moments

the mall - oakland kids

japanther - super tap

green day - burnout

the get up kids - campfire kansas

franklins - hi-skool hi-jinx

dead kennedys - terminal preppie

the constantines - steal this sound

q and not u - line in the sand

bad brains - attitude

billy joel - still rock and roll to me

the buzzcocks - everybody's happy nowadays

cock sparrer - england belongs to me

DI - the saint

black eyes - deformative

ccr - hey tonight

choking victim - 500 channels

the smiths - rubber ring

i'll be the only one enjoying this mix until i remember it was stupid to make in the first place and delete it. for now though, stoked!

that's all for now... look forward to ice cream, ramen, and project: restyle in the near future!

xoxo

saw this at the SFMOMA years ago and thought it was rad. Phil Collins - The world won't listen: smiths karaoke in istanbul...

(sorry the quality is shit)

6.

obligatory new year's post...

i don't have too many new year's resolutions this year, mainly because i made a list of shit that needed to change when i left san francisco for new lands, and i think i've been doing an okay job thus far. and while i haven't been thoroughly impressed with new york city or 2011 thus far, i do think i will be a more rounded person when i move back west (and by more rounded i mean calloused and tough)

inner:

1) no expectations, no disappointments (i don't want to be an entirely pessimistic grinch, but my sensitive self could stand to be a little less dreamy.)

2) "boys are just dessert." (i need to stop getting bent out of shape about boys. they suck and there's better things to worry about!)

3) stop overanalyzing everything. (you'll never know, it doesn't matter anyway, get over it.)

4) be better at keeping in touch with people that are worth it.

5) start waking up before noon every day! (sheesh)

6) be nice (i tend to be a bitch when i feel awkward cause i don't know what to say)

outer:

1) go on a supreme road trip

2) go on mini trips

3) seriously figure out food carts and medium dreams

4) write letters

5) get my life back to where i can be proud of what i'm doing/not doing.

6) somehow manage to get tattooed by ashley love and bailey hunter robinson before i move

7) make this blog not look pathetic

8) read more

9) find new music to listen to

with that said, i'm going to clean my nasty apartment, throw out all the old food in the fridge, get my butterscotch ice cream into the pot and then the fridge, work on my sewing project, dance around the living room, eat falafel, drink tea, not give fuck! here's to a new year, new bullshit, and dealing with it way better! horrah!

love,

tara

5.

dear 2011: i'm not quite sure what to think of you. sometimes i think you're okay, other times, not so much. get your act together, please. xoxo tara

one thing i am sure about, though, is how much strung out rules.

in other news....

ice cream exhibit b: thai iced tea! i changed the recipe a bit, and i think this one is much better! tomorrow i am going to make butterscotch ice cream.... weee! (ps. do you like my sweet label i made! ?) ice cream cart here i come!

i made vegan apple cobbler. as you may or may not be aware, i severely suck at baking (muffins, anyone? no thanks) so i was delighted when this came out actually resembling apple cobbler in taste and form. horrah!

this is the lovely apron that mia got me for giftmas. i love it - never want to take it off! (i look like an old lady though. bummer)

time to a) clean my room - it's embarrassing me and b) sleep on the couch.

the end.